I'll admit, I took the idea for this page from a similarly-named thread on VeggieBoards, but the stories here are all my own. Feel free to add your own in the Comments section below.
A co-worker had just offered me an Altoid.
Me: (politely) No thanks
Co-Worker: Why? It doesn't contain meat.
Me: Actually...they have gelatin.
Co-Worker: (checks ingredients) Oh, wow. I guess they do...But that's just the hooves, that doesn't count.
A co-worker asked my opinion on a certain meat.
Me: I'm actually a vegan.
Co-Worker: That's like a really strict vegetarian, huh?
Me: Yes. I don't eat animal products of any kind.
Co-Worker: That's really awesome. But you still eat fish, right?
Sigh.
I was using a plastic fork to poke the sandwiches on a tray in the break room of a volunteer event. After poking a few, I determined they all contained meat, and was about to move on.
Co-Volunteer: Whatcha doin?
Me: I was looking for one without meat.
Co-Volunteer: You know, God put meat on this planet for us to eat.
Me: And if I believed in God, that might actually matter to me*.
The other guy actually couldn't say anything. He just stood there for a minute, then walked away. Another volunteer was laughing his ass off.
* P.S. My actual religious views are completely irrelevant to this anecdote. I really only said what I did because I wanted to point out how stupid he was to bring God into a discussion about my eating habits, which were none of his business in the first place.
And the ever-annoyingly misinformed: "But how do you get your calcium/iron/protein/fill-in-the-blank?"
I get this one so much I actually devoted a page to it on my blog. But my usual response is to stare in amazement and ask the questioner when they got their medical degree. Maybe not incredibly funny, but it gets the point across.
